Author: kirstylouisedgp

Blogger and teen-fiction author from Sunderland, UK. Currently living in Edgbaston, Birmingham.

Why I started dancing with BCU Burlesque….

I’m quite a shy girl and for anyone as introverted as me…. Burlesque dancing probably seems like the last thing you’d ever consider doing.  Well… I did it and despite recent criticism for doing so, I don’t plan on quitting.

I used to enjoy dancing a long time ago… almost 7 years ago to be exact. Contemporary dance was my favourite topic in PE in school but I never had the guts to join any classes or do any shows out of fear of being the “fat one.”

I lost confidence in a lot of things once I reached GCSEs… dancing, drama, swimming etc. and all that is probably partially to blame for my dramatic five stone weight gain in the space of three months at the beginning of college.

This year, as I have mentioned several times in recent posts I began my PCOS/Hyperglycemic weightloss battle and as well as changing my eating habits, I wanted to exercise more so I decided dance would be a fun way to do that. I had heard a lot about the BCU Burlesque society in my first year and even saw some of them dance at a media event in the summer. I wanted so much to be a part of that but being a very self-conscious person… dancing in my underwear seemed a bit daunting  (and I think my old fashioned parents would have a heart attack at the thought of it).

Initially, I messaged a girl called Ella Stone to ask her about the society. I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t going to get looked down on for being on the curvy side and she was very reassuring that the group would welcome me so I went along to the first session in September and absolutely adored it.

The guys and girls were very supportive and were all about dragging that sexy alter-ego we all have somewhere inside of us to the surface. Not only has this group helped me so much in bringing my weight down, they’ve brought out a confidence in me that I didn’t even know I had (I still need to work on not looking at the floor too much as pointed out by Lene in last weeks session).

A few weeks ago I performed for the first time in front of people in the Sweet and Sinful show and despite almost slipping over on my high heels multiple times during rehearsal, I made it through the show without landing on my backside!

I even had the confidence to get photos taken on the night (which I got a great response to on Instagram and Facebook, ayyy!)

Here are some of the shots from the night with credit and a massive thank you to the very talented @csbbphotos. Search for her on Facebook and Instagram.

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I’m BODY POSITIVE but I’m still dieting….

I am all for body positivity and loving the skin that you’re in and yet I am still on a diet and working out. Must mean I secretly hate my body right? WRONG. I have bad days with my body image and so does everyone, no one can love every little thing about themselves all the time, let’s be realistic, but most of the time I’m actually okay with my curves.

Sure, I loved the days when I could fit in a size 8/10 but I’m going to be honest… my tummy wasn’t even flat back then but I was in better health. I’m not saying that a person with extra weight is unhealthy because many  people have a few extra pounds and have no problems at all. I personally have problems because of my weight and no… it’s nothing to do with my heart or blood pressure I can assure you my heart is perfectly fine.

My issue is that I am battling infertility and I need to loose weight to control my symptoms of PCOS and eventually be able to try for a baby when I am ready. I also have hyperglycemia so I am fighting against diabetes which is heriditarywith women in my family.

All of this stuff is to do with how my body works, not my appearance. To be honest, if I was perfectly capable of ovulating without losing weight I’d stay my chubby self forever because I am not a fan of diets or workouts or avoiding sweets (I used to be a bit of a chocoholic).

I just want people to see that dieting isn’t always about hating the way you look, sometimes someone has an internal battle with a part of themselves that you can’t see. Don’t just assume someone hates their appearance because they have started eating better.

On a side note – The people who think plus size models are promoting an unhealthy life and not self-love, you are wrong! They aren’t telling people they need to be like them, they are telling people to learn to love themselves even if you have a few extra pounds. Also, you tend to be the kind of people who are okay with severely underweight women walking the runway – you can be slim and unhealthy too!

You See the Devil.’ Woman Held Hostage, Raped and Burned by Man She Met on Dating Site — TIME

She met him on a dating site, where Seth Mull’s profile said he was “serious about finding the perfect match.” She found him attractive: Mull was fit, with huge biceps and ripped abs. He was kind, too, quickly gaining her trust. The couple met at a Pennsylvania hotel, where they drank and listened to music.…

via ‘You See the Devil.’ Woman Held Hostage, Raped and Burned by Man She Met on Dating Site — TIME

I Will Be Okay

Discovering Your Happiness

*SIGH*

You misunderstood the concept of a woman’s strength because even though we are used to experiencing pain, we always come out of it stronger. This isn’t me losing you, this is you letting go of what would’ve been the warmest, craziest relationship that you would’ve had. I’m comfortable in my skin now so I know my worth even when you fail to see it.

Perhaps you thought that I would wait all day for you or that I would crawl to get your attention, but I’ve proven that you thought wrong. You shouldn’t have worried about me smothering you with love, you should’ve worried when it all stopped. I may be a complicated woman that often drove you mad, but I sure as hell know that it is that part of me that you will miss the most.

When the silence hits you in the middle of the night…

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2017 Baborka Cup Results

The Gymternet

The 2017 Baborka Cup was held from November 24 through November 26 in Zabrze, Poland.

All-Around Results

Rank Athlete Nation VT UB BB FX AA
1 Viktoriia Ivanenko Ukraine 13.600 10.133 13.267 12.900 49.900
2 Diana Savelieva Ukraine 12.433 10.733 12.600 12.467 48.233
3 Oliwia Luka Poland 12.167 10.500 11.667 12.033 46.367
4 Dagmara Pyzio Poland 11.367 10.767 11.767 11.967 45.868
5 Sofia Krutsel Belarus 11.400 11.000 12.200 11.267 45.867
6 Kaja Skalska Poland 12.333 9.867 11.733 11.800 45.733
7 Margareta Gondova Slovakia 12.033 10.767 11.267 11.567 45.634
8 Marija Sajovko Latvia 12.167 9.167 12.000 11.967 45.301
9 Linda Tugarinova Latvia 12.767 8.933 11.300 11.633 44.633
10 Eva Bingelis Russia 12.000 8.733 11.300 11.333 43.366
11 Ema Pleskyte Lithuania 12.267 7.933 11.200 11.933 43.333
12 Brygida Urbanska Poland 11.800 8.533 11.933 11.000 43.266
13 Veronika Valastiakova Slovakia 12.667 8.667 10.767 11.133 43.234
14 Aneta Skubalowa Czech Republic 12.267 9.967 9.033

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How losing weight is making me more insecure

I have been on a weight loss journey for PCOS for so long now trying so many different things to help shed those pounds that are preventing my body from working like a regular woman. I joined BCU Burlesque (post coming soon) and that has helped me shed some of the fat along with my low GI diet. I have lost over two stone so far and I couldn’t be prouder but…

I’m photoshopping my photos now. I never used to feel the need to do that but now I do.

My skin is starting to wrinkle. I feel like im starting to look older than I am and I thank the lord that I don’t have a boyfriends because I wouldn’t want anyone to see my wrinkling tummy. I have to blur the wrinkles out of my arms now so people can’t see them in photos because I’m so ashamed of it.


On things for sure though, I’m not willing to quit. I need to loose weight for the future that I want. I just want to look as young as I am…