I have OCD – Living With Dermatillomania

Dermatillomania. I can guarantee you have never heard of this. I didn’t until I was diagnosed.

“Dermatillomania is a condition where a person feels compelled to pick at their skin, to the point where it causes visible wounds.

It is an impulse-control disorder – a psychological condition where the person is unable to stop themselves carrying out a particular action.”


Dermatillomania is a very difficult thing to live with. I have lived like this since I was a child, without being officially diagnosed until I was 19 as my parents just dismissed it as a bad habit because they had never heard of the disorder.

The disorder is known to begin for various reasons but it is regarded as a form of OCD and self-harm. Tips for quitting include occupying your hands with something else and/or wearing gloves.

I have attempted this but I have come to realise that sometimes I don’t notice I’m doing it and if  I do resist my urges it makes me do it worse later, which as you can imagine, causes more damage.

I have been recommended therapy and antidepressants but the pills made me high and therapy is hard to get when you are living between two cities that are far apart so I guess it will have to wait until University is over.

I was incredibly ashamed of my hand before my diagnosis because I never understood why I couldn’t stop. I used to lie to people about what happened too. It was hard to grasp that I needed serious help.

The scarring makes me feel ugly. I feel like no one would want to hold my hand because they are disgracefully scarred.

I just thank God it’s not on my feet anymore. When I was a kid I used to do it to my feet to the point where it made it painful to walk.  Awful.

Britain in the face of terrorism…

Over the last few years, Britain has faced many acts of terrorism and potential threats of it. From the shootings at Westminster to threats of beheading children leading to evacuations of schools from Kent to Manchester. 

Last night, a suicide bomber was present in the foyer of Ariana Grande’s concert in Manchester. An eye witness told BBC Manchester that the explosion was “near where they were selling the merchandise” and there “were bodies everywhere.”

Many people are still missing from the attack, including children as young as 8 and some children are even missing their parents. 22 people have been killed in the horrific incident, with 59 more injured.

In this situation it is important to give recognition to those who go out of their way to help strangers. Showing the terrorists that as a nation we will stand united and we will not bow down to terrorism.

Reportedly, Manchester’s emergency services were at the scene in moments. Taxi drivers offering free lifts home. Local hotels offering safe haven for children and families. Local people offering beds for the night. Fast food restaurants offered free food to those at the scene.

Whatever happened has not divided the nation. People from all over the country are praying for Manchester.

Ariana Grande issued an apology on social media this morning but she needs to know that there is no need to blame herself for the heartless acts of others.

James Corden paid tribute to the victims of the attack after hearing the news during his show last night.

Theresa May issued her statement about the incident this morning and even President Donald Trump has offered tribute.

We will not bow down to this. As a country we will push back against terrorism and we will win. They can’t make us crumble. They can only try and fail miserably. 

My thoughts and prayers are with the beautiful people of Manchester and the loved ones of all that have been lost. 

This is a little disappointing but I hope you understand…

As you all know, in exactly 2 weeks time I had my heart set on releasing my new novel: The Price Of Fabulous…

This is now going to be postponed until later this year. I am going to explain the reasons why, let’s just hope you can understand them.

The book is in the finishing stages and is on track for release but unfortunately I have had a dramatic relapse in mental health with regards to my anxiety and depression through personal events that were unforeseen until I came home from finishing my first year at BCU.

The reason why I want to postpone the release is because I don’t feel like I am well enough to do my best promotional work while I seek the medical attention I require.

I also have become more aware that I have slacked off with my blogging so I will do the best I can to pick it back up again and hopefully I will have a new release date for you soon.

Thank you! 

Something a Little Different…


Today I wanted to speak about something a little different than just a weekly update. This week has been filled with some great experiences in completing work for various modules and organising work placements for myself.

I want to speak about mental health, particularly within University students. Over the last few weeks I’ve been speaking with multiple friends about the mental health problems they face, be that anxiety, depression or something completely different. I had no idea until I started speaking to friends how many of them are affected by mental health issues, it’s really quite shocking.

Deadlines, living away from home and just having that feeling of independence can all contribute to existing mental health issues. We’re incredibly lucky to have free counselling services in uni for anybody to use that just needs someone to talk to. Sometimes the very best thing you can do is talk, it might…

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