writer

My PCOS Story

I began to suffer from many of the physical symptoms of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome when I was 14. The age when I had my first period. The first one was normal and during that time I thought the worst thing about it was that I’d started when I was away on holiday. I thought that after it had finished I would be done for another few weeks as any normal girl would but no… I began to have periods very heavily every two weeks. It lead to fainting, blood blisters and sleepless nights from hot flushes, painful acne, facial and chest hair growth, vomitting when I ate on a morning and extremely violent mood swings.

I begged my mother to take me to the doctors to get me checked out and she kept telling me that what was going on with my body was normal and I’d grow out of it. What she failed to tell me was that she had PCOS too and that it was genetic. I wasn’t getting any better.

After a screaming fit and anxiety attack over one tiny thing… She realised it was ridiculous to allow me to go on like this and did take me to the doctor to be checked out. The GP also told me I was going to grow out of it but wanted to put me on the combined pill to regulate my periods so I wasn’t so all over the place. Everything went normal after that. I was regular. My BMI dropped from 30 to 25 and I was much more emotionally stable. Although, kids in school did still bully me for my weight and facial hair. Nothing can stop that. Kids can be really mean.

3 years later, I was still in the dillusion that I was going to grow out of it and had convinced myself that if I came off the pill, I would still be okay… WRONG.

I gained 5.5 stone in the short space of three months and my periods only arrived once ever three months… If at all. I started to have migraines and vomitting, the mood swings came back, the hair got thicker, the acne got worse and I had severe stomach pain and constipation problems. I also became very prone to UTIs.

I kept seeing my GP begging for help. They gave me antidepressants and anxiety medications for my moods. They tried me on medications for IBS… All of which failed. They checked if I was pregnant everytime I went in and with each negative I got more and more lost, I had no idea what was wrong with me.

It took me two years to have the Ultrasound scan that changed my life. It was around this time when I had started getting really fatigued and needed to nap daily to function. They scanned me and found no evidence of the “gallstones” they thought I had and instead found the cysts on my ovaries. The doctor said I had around 12 on each ovary but they shouldn’t be hurting me because “ovarian cysts don’t hurt.” Still to this day the biggest load of crap anyone’s ever said to me.

They transferred me to a gynaecologist who diagnosed me with PCOS and informed me that it was hereditary. She told me I would need to get back to a healthy weight I ever wanted children and believe me I tried so hard. I started the gym and tried dieting but didn’t shift more than 2lbs. The weight just wasn’t budging. I started to feel guilty and like I was never meant to be a mother.

The gynaecologist put me on the minipill to try and regulate my hormones but I ended off being on my period every two weeks again so she had to switch me to the combined despite my weight. She did tell me to keep trying to loose weight.

I did keep trying but everyday it was getting harder. I falling asleep for longer every day to the point of being out for 6 hours one afternoon. I had a fit on a night out from high blood sugar but when checked for diabetes I was told I was fine.

2 years after my PCOS diagnosis, I was referred to a PCOS specialist dietician who came to the conclusion that I was hyperglycemic (a form of insulin resistance caused by PCOS that keeps blood sugar levels consistently high causing damage to the kidneys, legs, brain and eyes). It explained my weight gain, my sudden need for specs, my seizure, my headaches and why my legs kept going numb.

She suggested a low GI diet so as of the 4th September 2017, I changed my lifestyle. I was half expecting it not to work because nothing had ever worked before and yet it did. In the last six months I have lost 2.5 stone and those naps that I needed daily because of sugar crashing have gone too! My acne has cleared. My excess hair growth has slowed down and I even have less anxiety attacks and mood swings.

Losing weight with an illness that makes you gain weight is hard but not impossible. I just wish someone like my mother had admitted to me what I had sooner so I would have known that I was ill. PCOS isn’t something that girls will “just grow out of” so stop telling them that it is. Help them. Support them. Let them know that they aren’t alone in their fight.

1 in 10 women have PCOS. Most of them feel ashamed of it. Don’t be. Your body just needs a little extra care.

I know that as soon as my future daughter gets her first period, if she shows symptoms I recognise I will have a talk with her and I will help her. Mother’s should let their children be alone in this. It’s hard but we can all get there.

I love and support all my cysters! Our high male hormones doesn’t make us less of a woman, it just makes us a stronger one! ❤

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I hate writing endings…

I have been writing since I was 4 and my Gran taught me how. I was always writing short stories and poetry whenever I had a good idea for one and it became the most paramount hobby that I had in my life.

I never used to have an issue with writing endings until I started writing novels after I got into it during Nanowrimo that I completed in 2010 and 2011. I now struggle to wrap a story up which is strange because I always know exactly how I want my story to go.

I just seem to automatically get writer’s block towards the end. I feel like this maybe just be because I am subconsciously attached to my story and characters so that I don’t want my story to end, in the same way, a mother doesn’t want her children to grow up. My books are like my babies, they are a part of me and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Check out this wattpad account…

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Adam Miles Christoper Bell was a friend of mine at school and soon after we left he became more active with his writing than ever before, especially on his wattpad account. He has often came to me for advice on titles and just writing in general after I recieved my publishing contract for Children of the Movement in 2014.

“I love writing stories and have been trying to write since I was 7 years old, which is when I came up with my first story idea. Ever since then I have been coming up with new ideas but have never got to writing them into an actual story. However, recently I started to get into it again and have started writing many stories. My two favorites being A World Reborn and A Demon Within.” – Adam’s Wattpad bio

Lately, his account has been gaining some heat with readers seeming to be pouring in for his novel “A World Reborn“. The novel has 4 parts so far and is still a working progress.

Synopsis and cover:

64686388-176-k456815“Nothing and no-one is safe anymore. This world is no longer our own and everyday we must hide from the dangers of the threat that now walks these lands.

Only one native dares to stand up against the Invasion. But he will not do it alone.

When the world is being taken from you, the only way to fight back is by breaking the rules, even your own personal ones. The world is being attacked by Invaders. However THESE invaders may just be a little more familiar than you may think…”

Follow @adambell97 on wattpad or like his facebook page.

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How do people live like that…?

I don’t understand how people manage to live constantly asking ‘what if.’ How do those people who grew up with such dreams give up on themselves? They just stop.

Maybe this is because I have always worked towards my goal of being a writer since the age of 4, I don’t know how to stop but I have met people who have dreamed their whole life that they’d be an actor, singer, writer or even a film maker and then one day, in the middle of their journey, they wake up and they just stop. It’s as if one morning they woke up as a different person.

They’ll either drop out of education or they’ll finish it and rather than pursue what they are newly qualified to do, they take the ‘easy’ route and get a dead end job and all plans to be who they want to be or visions of who they are just cease to exist.

I don’t know about you… but people with no ambition, no passion and no goals for their life bore the hell out of me.  I understand that sometimes life gets in the way and people get these jobs because they need the money, that’s just the way the world works but why would you want to stay in a dead end job forever? Why stop looking into your dream job?

Yes, have a job in the mean time but never give up. Never give up when you know you a destined for something greater.