I always moan about the dark side of having an illness that makes you have the hormones of a pubescent, teenage boy and the food cravings and mood swings of a hormonal pregnant woman, all while you’re struggling to have a baby. The thing is some days I realize that there is a silver lining to everything.
Children are in crisis. I may never have my own children but there are thousands of children on this earth in need of a loving and stable home, something which I could provide a child, the child I desperately want. A lot of children are waiting for homes because their parents didn’t want them but at least with you, they’ll always be wanted.
No periods. PCOS can lead to heavy periods and painful ones but sometimes you miss periods completely. I usually only have one every three months. I get that missed periods can cause problems but you have to admit there’s something that makes you feel smug when someone is complaining about their period pains and you aren’t having that issue.
Some kids make you thank god your ovaries don’t work. You can’t lie, you’ve all met that one child who is so troublesome and aggravating to their parents that you sit there and think “thank god no eggs are coming out of my ovaries any time soon.”
The other ‘cysters’. The ‘cysters’ is the name used to refer to other women suffering from the illness. The ‘cysterhood’ is used to refer to the unified, support network that you can meet online or have through your family since the illness is hereditary. These women will be some of the best friends you’ll ever have, they’re all going through what you are and show an understanding to your struggle that even the doctors don’t get.
As a woman struggling with infertility, baby envy is one of my biggest flaws. Being so desperate to be a mother seemingly makes you jealous of anyone who is already or is expecting.
But not all my baby envy is the same… It all depends on the situation.
1) The ‘I’m happy for you but sad for me’ type
This one tends to happen when a family member or close friend has a child. I can be really happy for someone, I am capable of that but that won’t stop the big green monster lingering in the back ground.
I never admit to these people that I’m unhappy though, I tend to just wait until I’m alone to cry over it. I also don’t like being asked if I’m okay with it, it makes me feel guilty for not being okay. Let me be happy for you and grieve for myself in private.
2) The ‘you don’t deserve it’ type
Living in the area I live in, a lot of the people I know who are too fertile for their own good have had children taken off them because they’re too irresponsible to take care of them (there are always certain exceptions to this though).
The ones who neglect their children or abuse them really anger me. Even if I don’t know them and they are just people I’ve seen in the news
Why are they allowed ovaries that work and I’m not when I’m perfectly capable of being a mother?
3) The ‘single mother complex’
This is one that it took me a long time to realize I had. I have trust issues when it comes to a man I can see a future with and a single mother who insists is just a friend.
I don’t think their is anything wrong with being a single mother, don’t get me wrong. It’s a self confidence issue as I feel no man would fight my infertility with me if he has better/easier choices elsewhere.
This issue is stemmed from feeling like less of a woman because of my infertility and being envious of those who have children.
Read more pcos awareness posts on my blog all month!
September is PCOS awareness month and during the course of this month, I will be doing daily blog posts about different aspects of the illness. This is today’s post and I wanted to use it to link you to posts I have done in the past about it before I start writing new content. So here they are below:
- 10 Annoying Things in (MOST) PCOS Support Groups
- PCOS Uncensored – My First Period Induction
- I’m a little lost…
- PCOS Uncensored – Infertility Fears
- PCOS Uncensored – The Acne And Body Hair Struggle
- The best fitness advice that considers PCOS sufferers
- I will always be that chubby girl in a crop top…
Happy reading cysters. xx
Walt Before Mickey is the amazing story of Walter Disney in his journey to the character that made his company the success it is today. Mickey Mouse.
“It all started with a mouse.” – Walt Disney
I have watched and re-watched this film, over and over again on Netflix and I think it is becoming one of my favorite films of all time. I’m not just saying that because I’m a life long Disney fan. The truth is I would still love it if I wasn’t.
The story of Disney is the pursuit of a dream, a passion that you have had since childhood. He may say that it all started with a mouse but his talent started with the sketch book his aunt gave him as a child.
He wanted to run his own company which lead to failure, after failure, until his eventual success.
This film is so inspirational because it shows that even the most successful people in the world didn’t have everything spoon fed to them. They had to work hard and pick themselves up, time and time again. They needed to make themselves stronger and better because they knew what they were meant for.
Walt didn’t give up, so why should you?
Shadow is a really loving dog and he loves cuddles and teddy bears but he’s a very delicate soul. We were told that he had severe seperation anxiety when we took him home and it’s been so bad that he had three homes previous to ours.
At his previous homes he had been left alone, beaten and attacked by a cat. He now gets nervous in closed off spaces, you can’t pat him (only stroke him) and if he is left on his own he cries and tears up carpets and furniture.
He does occasionally have a whine when someone leaves the house but he comes to me and let’s me scratch being his ears. I found out that calmed him down shortly after we got him home.
I’m so happy to be part of his forever home. I love him.