Read my article on Birmingham Eastside here.
I lack confidence in many things and part of me honestly believes that my anxiety will come and take away everything I love eventually. Once upon a time, I loved drama and performing arts but now if I even think about acting or dancing, my stomach feels like it rolls over. Not good.
My body is something that I have always struggled to accept but not consistently. Some days I’ll wake up with an attitude like “wow, so curvy today. Looking fine. Kylie Jenner can eat her heart out because you didn’t need to pay thousands for full lips like those.” Then I have my bad days, where I just look in the mirror and wonder why a fat mess like me is even allowed to leave the house. It is as if my body confidence issues have mood swings of their own.
People rarely see that side of me though. I only choose to let people know about my insecure days when they are so bad that I just lie in bed making myself cry. If I’m around people, I tend to make a lot of fat jokes about myself as if I think I’m beating them to it. Being told that I would struggle to lose weight because of my PCOS only seemed to make it worse as on the days where I feel less confident I feel like there’s no way of making myself feel better.
That being said… I’m currently a UK size 14 clothing and once, I was a size 8 but even back then I had a tummy. I still thought I was fat. Ridiculous, right? The thing is, if you are truly unhappy with your body image, it actually isn’t your body that’s the problem. It’s your mind. You can’t fix your body to fix your mind, that’s not how it works. If I was as unhappy with a size 8 as I am at size 14 then I won’t be happy no matter what I do. It’s sort of like being in the mind of someone who suffers from anorexia, without you actually starving yourself. You see flaws that aren’t there.
But like I said… I have good days. Some days I can wear a tight dress and walk out of the house feeling like a queen. Recently, I purchased a tiny black cropped top to wear on a girls night out. I’m the biggest girl in my group… oops! I saw it in New Look and I fell in love. I just had to buy it.
Despite my body issues, I’ve never actually been one to buy into that whole “dress for your size” lark. I’ll wear whatever I like to, whether it’s cropped or not. Even on my insecure days.
So, when the day came to actually wearing the cropped top, it did happen to be on one of my bad days. I was crying in bed over my weight at 2 pm but I was out slaying a cropped top and leggings by 9 pm. Talk about mood swings?
I did get a lot of mixed reactions with some people remarking about “what kind of plus-size clothing store sells cropped tops to us bigger girls” but I did get a lot of compliments which made me feel much better about my decision. A few girls said that I had a “great, curvy woman’s figure” and someone even said they admired my confidence at being able to show the top of my tummy. Some girls (more than guys, surprisingly) complimented my breasts, I do rock the cleavage when I feel like it.
I have let my anxiety and self-image take far too much away from me, my dress sense won’t be one of them. I rocked that cropped top just as much as a rock baggy tees and sweat pants. Society needs to learn to deal with that.
See, being that chubby girl in a cropped top isn’t such a bad thing, even if all your friends have tiny waists.
Be the curve queen of your group!
The governement forced the BBC to release the salaries for its highest paid entertainers and journalists to the British public this week. Many members of the British public had noticed that there was a dramatic gap between the pay between male and female workers.
The BBC is facing a huge backlash after the list exposed huge gender and minority inequality as woman are beginging to demand action to close the pay gap. It was revealed that the corporation’s highest-paid presenter is Chris Evans, earning at least £2.2 million.
Claudia Winkleman, the best-paid female star, took home at least £450,000, which is around a fifth of Evans’ pay. Then there is Emily Maitlis, who did not appear on the list, which only details staff earning more than £150,000. Her Newsnight co-star Evan Davis earns at least £250,000. Maitlis, who is currently not under contract, is reportedly considering her future at the BBC after the revelation.
Just 10 of the 96 names on the list are non-white, with sports presenter Jason Mohammad the highest-paid ethnic minority on at least £250,000 – a ninth of what Evans earned.
See it for yourself here.
Now, some of the BBC’s most high-profile female stars are demanding that the BBC act now to fix the gender pay gap. Presenters Clare Balding, Victoria Derbyshire and Emily Maitlis are among those who have signed an open letter to director general Tony Hall.
Education Secretary Justine Greening said the BBC’s gender pay gap was “hard to justify”, while Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn said discrepancies were “astronomical”.
Something needs to be done.
For the last feels days the whole internet seems to have been going wild over the Doctor’s regeneration into a woman… simply because she’s a woman. Really?
To be honest, it got to Sunday and I was expecting everyone to be talking about the new season of Game Of Thrones but damn. I could not have been more wrong.
So, the casting directors of Doctor Who have cast Jodie Whittaker and I am one of what seems to be very few who are exceedingly excited by it. (Even of U.K. tabloids have published her nudes, she’s still amazing).
So here’s a few reasons why you should love the decision too:
She looks fantastic in the old Doctor’s outfits…
Colin Baker backs her… hitting back at sexist tweets.
We all know the stereotype of women apparently being unable to park a car decently… urm may I remind you that River Song parked the tardis better than the Doctor?
But what I loved most was Colin Baker’s response as he believes it is a result for a man with daughters.
He also tweeted this hilarious come back:
Speaking of River…
Alex Kingston offered her reaction to the announcement…
“I’m always the damn cradle snatcher but she’s a really great actress, she’s fantastic. Oh my God, that’s so exciting!” – Alex Kingston (1.14)
It has actually been said since the beginning that the Doctor can become a woman at any point – by the creators themselves.
This was highlighted in the BBC’s response to the backlash… as well as the fact that she’s an amazing actress!
But there is one thing that we should be celebrating alongside the new Doctor…
The man who made many mistakes.
The man who was dragging the show through the mud.
MOFFAT HAS LEFT!!!!! #byefelicia
See all the mistakes he admitted here.
Got anything you think I should be talking about, tweet me @kirstydgp, message my Facebook page or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Racism on dating sites is a real issue and those types of women make swiping right on tinder resulting in slightly awkward conversations that assume you’re a racist because you’re a white girl.
There are still some women out there who won’t date a man because he is black and they actually tell these men that their race is what’s stopping them from dating. This obviously makes these men very insecure and they tend to search for a woman but if they match with a white girl, they hope she is someone who has dated a black man before, as if it makes them feel more secure talking to a woman who has been in an interracial relationship before.
I have spoken to men of a different race to me on apps and my social media and it always results in the same question…
I don’t understand why someone would match with someone on a dating site if they won’t actually date them due to their race. These men shouldn’t be made to feel like their race is what is stopping them from finding a partner.
Imagine being so closed minded about race that you miss out on a decent man because of the colour of their skin. Wow, ladies…
As you all know, in exactly 2 weeks time I had my heart set on releasing my new novel: The Price Of Fabulous…
This is now going to be postponed until later this year. I am going to explain the reasons why, let’s just hope you can understand them.
The book is in the finishing stages and is on track for release but unfortunately I have had a dramatic relapse in mental health with regards to my anxiety and depression through personal events that were unforeseen until I came home from finishing my first year at BCU.
The reason why I want to postpone the release is because I don’t feel like I am well enough to do my best promotional work while I seek the medical attention I require.
I also have become more aware that I have slacked off with my blogging so I will do the best I can to pick it back up again and hopefully I will have a new release date for you soon.